Is there something wrong with me?

...Other than the fact that I have not updated my blog in over a month. In my defense, I have been rather busy since then, and any spare time I have is usually spent playing catch-up on those things that have become neglected during the week, such as the pile of dishes in the sink, or the piles of dirty laundry and garbage that seem to accumulate when there is not a woman home all the time to pick them up. Plus the lists of drugs and other things about pharmacy life that I am trying to cram in my brain when I have a spare moment. Yep, I've been busy. And since yet again the coupons are missing from my sunday papers, I have a little bit of time to myself while the baby sleeps. Though admittedly I haven't cut last week's coupons yet....

Anyway, I've had 2 tests in my pharmacy tech class so far. I did well on the first test; I'm not feeling so confident about last Thursday's test. I hope I did better than I think I did. I'm really trying hard to get the majority of my work done before spring semester, seeing as I will have a second baby in the house before school is over. I've been working about 20 hrs a week combined in the hospital and a local pharmacy; I'm hoping to have my 200 required hours done before the start of spring semester so I can be ready to take the national licensing exam around February or March. If I can pass it before the end of spring semester, I will get an automatic 100 percent on the final exam, and the rest of the class should be a breeze. I was really hoping that I would be done with school before I was due with this baby. Unfortunately, graduation is the first week of May and I am due the second week of April (I just realized I haven't posted anything since I found out my due date- April 12th). So I won't get to walk across the stage at graduation with my huge pregnant belly, but I will get to have another baby in my arms.

We are really hoping for a boy this time, and I've been having some really strange dreams. In one of those dreams I gave birth to a dark-haired mexican-looking boy in my friend's camp trailer, and she was my delivery nurse. The inside of the trailer looked like a tiny hospital room. In another dream, there were two cribs right next to each other (which may end up coming true since we will need 2 cribs), and there was a dark-haired curly girl in one and a boy in the other (Lily was right next to me). I kept trying to see what the boy looked like, but I could only look at the girl. I had 2 dreams where Lily wasn't my biological daughter; we found her in the first dream; and in the second she was the daughter of some sibling of Matt's that doesn't exist in real life. Her parents didn't want her so we raised her. It really confused me until I remembered that she is my daughter, I gave birth to her!

I've had a lot of dreams about girls, and some about boys. I only dreamed about boys before I knew that Lily was a girl... so what do these dreams mean? No, I don't think it's twins, I would be a lot bigger and I would've been told at my first doctor's appointment when they did the ultrasound. I've been looking at boy clothes and boy stuff and thinking of boy names, and Matt and I (sort of) have a name we've talked about. I've also got a girl name in the back of my head, and both names feel right.

Speaking of names...
I'm not sure if it is just me, but I really feel weird using words such as wonderful, sweet, amazing, or incredible when talking about my husband. I suppose don't want someone else to feel bad if they don't feel that way about their spouse, like I'm trying to say my husband is better than theirs. Or that I'm using them because I'm just trying to convince myself he is. I'm not saying that other people shouldn't praise their husbands for the wonderful things they do; it is a positive thing, after all. I guess I'm just a little more private about it. I seem to have no problem praising my child (she is the perfect child, after all :P), but for some reason, I feel odd doing so about my husband. Maybe because I know he'll never read my blog anyway. I do try to let him know how I feel, but somehow I feel weird sharing that with other people. Is there something wrong with me?