Diffr'nt Strokes

In those few moments between my head hitting the pillow and sleep, I had one of those thoughts that make perfect sense to you at the time. Well, I went to sleep and forgot exactly what it was, but I do remember thinking that parenthood will either make you or break you as a couple. Having a child will either bond you together through your joy and struggles, or the differences in your parenting styles will give you something to fight about that drives you apart.

I was comparing my parents and trying to figure out which parent was more lenient and which parent wouldn't let me get away with as much. My dad was usually looser when it came to something we wanted at the store or if we wanted a treat at an amusement park. Mom didn't let us get treats as often as dad did. but I was more afraid of being spanked by my dad, mom would just send us to our room or ground us. When it came to friends or having sleepovers, it was easier to get mom's cooperation- and she usually didn't mind as much when we made a lot of noise.

Frankly, I think I am a combination of both my parents' styles. I will prolly be the more patient one when it comes to whiny kids and naughty behavior. I intend to help my children understand why their behavior is unacceptable, rather than just punish them because I feel upset at them. If I can detach myself from their behavior emotionally, I think it will keep me from yelling at them. I'm not sure if I will use a time-out chair or the corner as a punishment. The theory I favor right now ("theory" since it has yet to be put into action) is calmly telling my child to go to their room "because you need to calm down and mommy needs a break from your behavior". Not sure yet if it will work- every child learns differently. Right now if Lily is just plain whiny we put her down for a nap, unless I suspect one of her basic needs requires attention.

I'm not quite certain what Matt's parenting style is. I'd like to say we've talked in depth about it, but honestly you don't know what your style is until you raise a kid. Matt's dad was a raging drunk for most of his childhood from what he's told me, and while I don't think he will be as hard a parent to live with (helps he doesn't drink), I think he might not be as patient a parent as I am. I am a people pleaser so I might find it a harder job to discipline my children. As long as we support each other though I think it will be okay.

Matt thinks this baby is a boy; we both knew that Lily was a girl. We won't know for at least another month yet. I don't even know my due date yet... but I do hope that we get at least one of each variety. I never had any brothers and always wanted one, so I hope that Lily gets at least one brother and one sister. Guess we'll know soon enough, but the guessing game is driving me crazy! I see lots of CUTE boy clothes and would love to add them to my baby collection.